Max Verstappen is the greatest driver in F1, but McLaren still shouldn't sign him

Another summer, another string of questions about Max Verstappen's future - is he happy, is he leaving, is he retiring, will he go to Mercedes, will he go to McLaren, what if he stays at Red Bull, is he on holiday with Toto Wolff, will Red Bull give him a winning car soon, and can we stretch the rule of three to include having three sets of three questions in this list?